Men & Women Jokes
Gender Jokes are a funny and humorous way of men ridiculing women and women answering them in the same vein. These sex wars include comments and satire on eccentricities specific to both the genders, how they express themselves and the relationships that they share with each other such as marriages, mutual attraction and conflicts in general. Here are some jokes for you:
- On returning home from office, a newly-wedded man heard his wife chatting away on phone using words like 'small' and 'short'. In the night, as the couple was getting ready for bed, the man asked the woman not to use such adjectives and use only adjectives like 'large' and 'big' in her sentences. Later, the wife sweetly asked her husband - "I wish it had been large and big."
- Two married friends went on a drinking binge together and one of them started his tale of woe. He said, "Whenever I go home late at night after spending some time with my friends at a bar, I turn the headlights and engine off before and coast the car in my garage very very silently. I sneak up the stairs only after taking off my shoes and ease very slowly in bed. Still, my wife wakes up and all heal breaks loose as she starts screaming at me for drinking and for being out so late!" His friend gave him a long meaningful stare and said, "Mate, try my method. I screech into the driveway, slam all doors noisily, storm up the steps, throw my clothes and shoes all over the place as I undress and then jump into the bed and...my wife is always sound asleep."
- Comparison of what women want in men and what they get:
|Ideal Traits In Men For Women||What It Means In Reality|
|Artistic||Is able to find matching socks.|
|Athletic||Can get up to get his own seconds.|
|Classy||Puts back his Playboy in the hidden drawer.|
|Communicates well||Answers phone.|
|Considerate||Has learned to splatter less and leave seat up sometimes.|
|Faithful||Would let you know of his flings.|
|Hopelessly romantic||Will remember to buy roses for you.|
|Interested in women who have brains||Has learned to look to the face of the women sometimes while talking to her instead of her chest.|
|Loves kids and pets||Will not throw away a crying kid and had a snake once.|
|Sensitive||Acknowledges the fact that you are crying.|
- Women's Guide on how to deal with men:
- A man's mind is too little to wander out alone for long.
- A neat and spotless housework has never been the reason why men have ever loved women, so leave the chores then and there.
- Bachelor is the man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
- There are as many reasons as there are men for not sleeping with them.
- When your boyfriend walks out on you, shut the door.
- Women never make fools of men. They are mostly do-it-yourself types.
- You can change a man, only if he is in diapers.
- Younger men are just fine. Men never mature anyway.